The past week has been full of emotional highs as well as the lows. Unfortunately it all ended with a huge low. We arrived in VA the day after our son was born... Had a great visit for a full day with the birthmom, she left him with us in the hospital and we took him with us on Saturday. He was so sweet, so little and such a blessing to us. Unfortunately our plans are not always the Lords plans. That night, the lawyer contacted us and said birthmom wanted Benjamin back... It was the biggest shock... Because there was no indication that would happen. We had no choice but to cooperate. The moment we handed him back will forever be etched in my heart... Talk about pain! This was our son, and she was taking him back. We left for Maine the next day and have not heard from the birthmom again. My heart aches for Benjamin and we just pray that he is ok and will be ok.
We appreciate all the prayers and kind words from friends and family. We are doing ok, but it's still very hard for us.
The Lord does know what He is doing, and we cling to that promise. Praise the Lord we are expecting our baby girl in August, and even though it doesn't take the pain away or replace Benjamin, it softens the blow slightly.
We are putting adoption on hold right now, Angel Adoption said we have 8 months left on their contract when we want to pursue it again... The only problem is the money... We spent all we had raised and saved on the lawyers and trip for Benjamin, so as of now, we have no funds to pursue again. We are still open to it, but we can not go through those emotions again while in the third trimester of Kelly's pregnancy. After our baby girl is born and finances settle a little, we will look into the option again... As long as the Lord leads us.
Please continue praying, the pain is very real. Pray for Benjamin and birthmom, that she changes her ways and becomes a great mom for him. A blessing that came out of this is, I (Kelly), got to see how great a dad Justin will be. He was my rock and continues to be... He dealt with the lawyers and birthmom when I was too upset to do so, and he also loved that little guy and wanted to hold him to the end (even through tears) he was strong when I was weak.. He is an amazing man, and I am so lucky to have him in my life.
Thanks again for your prayers and support. We are so blessed with our friends and family. We will keep you all updated on our little girl as well as if we pursue adoption again. God bless.
